The holiday season is here! While the holidays are often a time for joy and celebration, they may also present some challenges for children with selective mutism (SM). Below are some helpful tips for supporting children with SM during this holiday season.

Since parents are the primary advocate for their children, it is important to understand what is available for children with SM, how to obtain those services, and which services are appropriate for your individual child. Here is an introduction to our “special education dictionary” to help you better understand the language and terminology your school may use.

There is only one way to travel it safely: knowing what to expect and then defusing the inevitable traps. You might be surprised at the notion that our automatic thoughts can be a major force in how we feel and what we do. Just like anything else, we learn how to think as we grow. This becomes a pattern over time, forming strong connections in our brains. As we process the information we take in, it’s filtered through these pathways. This is how automatic thinking occurs. There are various ways in which we can learn to think, so let’s discuss the various negative thinking traps we can fall victim to.

As adults and parents, it's our job to provide kids with the information they need about the world. Sometimes, when kids come to us they might already have the information they need and are still seeking an answer. During these times, they may be looking to us to help make them feel better about something that feels uncomfortable, despite already knowing what will happen. This is what we call reassurance seeking.

When a child has a tantrum, it is often a very stressful, loud, overwhelming event for the parent, child, and those around them. As a parent, it is easy to get frustrated, upset and lose your cool during these big moments. In order to minimize these big, instinctual reactions when children display big feelings, parents must be proactive and prepared. It’s important to be able to approach big moments being cool, calm, and collected. But how, you may ask…

When a child is avoiding doing their homework or procrastinating getting started, it is easy to come to the conclusion that they lack the motivation to get it done. Then, you offer an incentive to try and spark some sort of progress— “You can have an extra hour of screen time as soon as you get your homework done.” Not budging? There may be something a bit more complicated in play. Task avoidance is often caused by challenges with crucial emotional and executive functioning abilities.

Parents often wonder how to effectively promote socio-emotional resilience and high self-esteem in their children. In a world where we frequently compare ourselves to others or are being compared by others, it’s easy to feel confident about one ability while feeling discouraged about another. When thinking about facilitating your child’s positive self-talk, consider the importance of language. It’s essential to be mindful of the words we use with our children, how we express those words (e.g, tone), and what nonverbal messages we are conveying our children.

Perseverance and resilience are two terms that are often used interchangeably. The core component of both of these concepts is the idea of distress tolerance. A child’s ability to tolerate unpredictability, deal with failure, and embrace challenges all develop from their capacity to overcome obstacles to work towards a goal. Because our instinct as caregivers is to protect children from feelings of distress and failure, we frequently jump in to support the child before they have the opportunity to develop appropriate strategies or push through uncomfortable feelings to successfully deal with stressful situations on their own. While well-intentioned, this instinct does not serve to increase the child’s distress tolerance.

Being a kid is hard! They live in a world where they are constantly told what to do and most of their everyday tasks feel out of their control. Keeping this in mind can actually help you give your child more freedom, which will help them be even more independent. It’s all about picking and choosing how to direct their behavior.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often thought of as simply a disorder of inattention or hyperactivity by the average person. However, ADHD is actually a disorder of overall regulation. These symptoms have the potential to bring a broad spectrum of challenges. What can make things even more complicated is navigating these challenges with a regular stream of negative feedback coming from seemingly all directions.

Often times, children with learning difficulties experience heightened symptoms of anxiety. The academic struggles combined with (real or imagined) social, emotional, or behavioral fears can become debilitating for a child. As a parent, it is hard to see your child suffering academically, emotionally, and socially. Therefore, gaining a better understanding of the connection between learning disorders and anxiety is a vital step in aiding your child and increasing their confidence and overall ability.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the most well-supported treatments for depression and anxiety amongst children, teens and even adults. This type of therapy is widespread, as its name has made its way into our everyday language and popular culture. But, what really is it? When your child is receiving CBT for anxiety, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), depression or a related disorder, what are they doing? What’s the special sauce that makes this treatment so effective?

Reflections are repetitions of what your child has just said. This can be a verbatim repeating of what they have shared or a summary. Using reflections during dysregulated moments helps your child to slow down their own thoughts and big feelings while also allowing them to feel heard by letting them know that you’re listening to them.

Children’s emotions typically follow a curve. They are calm, until something triggers them and their emotions intensify. If the child is unable to cope with their feelings, they reach a peak emotion, which is typically when we would see them hit, yell, kick, or cry. Sometimes, it feels like you are looking at a child you do not recognize during these peak emotions. During each stage of this curve, parents can react differently in order to minimize the size of the child’s reaction and alleviate emotional stress. In order to find what triggers big reactions in a child, parents need to be detectives.

“That’s not fair!” We’ve all heard it. We’ve all said it. The feelings behind it are absolutely valid and can be difficult to manage. Take a step back for a moment and consider: what does fair really mean in your home? Like many parents, you may have been working to be equal, but defining it as fair. We want to challenge that mindset and give you tools to navigate those “unfair” moments.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a diagnosis that has evolved over the years. There is now increased awareness and greater understanding of ASD. However, there continues to be several misconceptions about this diagnosis and some may not realize that there is a diversity of presentations associated with being on the spectrum. In this post, we have addressed some of the most common myths and questions related to ASD.

Power struggles with children can emerge for a variety of reasons. These willful and increasingly autonomous moments are a normal part of development and typically begin around age two. When parents are confronted with navigating a newly willful toddler, they are forced to make tricky split second decisions as to how to manage a behavior, tantrum or big emotion. Fortunately, there are effective strategies to help end power struggles with your child, many of which can be simple changes in the way the parent views the child’s behavior.

Most adults haved learned to successfully integrate their “thinking brain” and “emotion brain” in a way that allows them to continue to problem solve in these moments. Kids typically haven’t yet mastered this regulatory capability. We have to help our kids learn to effectively integrate their “thinking brain” and their “emotion brain” when they’re experiencing big feelings.

Accommodation is any change a parent makes to their own behavior to help kids avoid or lessen anxiety. Typically, these changes come from a caring and loving place, one where parents don’t want their kids to be distressed. In actuality, accommodation often shows kids that they cannot face their anxieties and they need others to step in to fix their problems. To figure out if accommodation plays a meaningful role in your family, ask yourself a few questions.

You’re seated right near the stage, watching the conductor lead the orchestra with rhythmic motions, pointing to the string instruments, to the woodwinds, to the bass… Just as the conductors so fluidly guides the orchestra to create beautiful compositions of music, so does our Executive Function guide our everyday thoughts and behaviors. Simply put, our executive function skills are imperative to our daily activity and functioning in the world around us.