When Your Thoughts Become a Trap

Photo by RODNAE Productions

Beware; the path you typically go down could be riddled with boobytraps! There is only one way to travel it safely: knowing what to expect and then defusing the inevitable traps. You might be surprised at the notion that our automatic thoughts can be a major force in how we feel and what we do. Just like anything else, we learn how to think as we grow. This becomes a pattern over time, forming strong connections in our brains. As we process the information we take in, it’s filtered through these pathways. This is how automatic thinking occurs. There are various ways in which we can learn to think, so let’s discuss the various negative thinking traps we can fall victim to. 

Black and White Thinking
The name says it all. If you are in the habit of using black and white thinking, your perception sees things as all or nothing. There is no in between or nuance, you see things as one extreme or the other. An example of this can be viewing something as perfect or a total failure. Often this thinking trap does not allow us to see the gray in between the black and white. Since our thoughts are directly connected to our feelings, this type of thinking provides the user with a rollercoaster of emotions, often feeling high highs and low lows depending on the situation.

Overgeneralization
Overgeneralization is when something goes wrong in one part of your life and that feeling stretches across everything else. If you get one “F” on a test, your entire future is doomed. If you struggle to learn to play the saxophone in the beginning, you’ll never be able to play any instrument you try to learn. 

Personalization
Personalization causes the user to perceive things as, well, personal, even when it’s unlikely. If you hear someone laughing in the next room, they must be making fun of you. Did your mom say she’s tired today? She shared this because it’s your fault she had trouble sleeping. This thinking trap often takes shape within a social context. The “personalizer” often takes innocuous behaviors as evidence of something negative directed at them.
 

Catastrophizing
This is a way of thinking that brings someone to conclude the worst case scenario. People who catastrophize often feel convinced or fearful that something terrible will happen, even when there isn’t enough evidence to support this fear. Small mistakes or regrets lead to a doomsday event. This can leave someone feeling defeated, fearful, anxious, or paralyzed, leaving them awaiting their impending demise. 

Perfectionism
This one is fairly self-explanatory. The perfectionist holds themselves to unattainable standards. We are human, which means we are prone to making mistakes. When an error occurs that does not meet the expectations we hold of ourselves, it can leave us feeling like we’ve failed. For the student who is a perfectionist, an “A-” might as well be an “F”. The only acceptable grade for them is an “A”.

Mind Reading
When contemplating a particular situation, mind readers feel as though they know exactly what someone else is thinking. Often this assumption comes in a negative form and brings feelings of frustration, anger, or hurt. While mostly these intuitions exist only in their imagination, the few that end up being accurate actually reinforce this way of thinking, being seen as evidence of the validity of these perceptions. This can create patterns of negative feelings toward others under circumstances in which it is not warranted. Mind readers might find themselves experiencing a constant state of drama and victimization. 

Minimizing
Oftentimes, negative experiences can bring feelings that are considered more uncomfortable and overwhelming (e.g., angry, sad, nervous, etc.). Since these feelings can be so impactful, it can be easy to have our attention drawn to these experiences more readily, leaving less room for the processing of more positive experiences. Someone who falls into the trap of negative filter could have had a relatively balanced day, but that one thing that happened that went wrong can overshadow everything else, bringing our focus to solely the negative, discounting the more positive or neutral things that occurred.

Blaming
This is where someone focuses on the other person as the source of a presenting problem. This makes it difficult to look inward and identify their role in the exchange. This subverts accountability and makes it difficult to engage in any meaningful change, given that the person lacks insight into their own actions and their impact on a given situation. This takes away their power to fix things that are in their control, often viewing most things as outside of their control and the responsibility of someone else.

All of us experience some of these thinking traps from time to time. The good news is that although we’ve been trained to engage in these automatic thinking patterns, we have the ability to change them to something more balanced. Just like how we formed the maladaptive pathways in our brains, we can form new connections and make a new, less harrowing path for our thoughts. Taking the time to engage in reframing and challenging these thoughts can take a bit of effort, but it may take just as much effort to maintain our own emotional suffering by not taking them on. So, when you notice these thinking traps coming into your consciousness, look for the evidence of their validity and worth. Consider if thinking this way is helpful or unhelpful to your current goals. With practice, you can retrain yourself to let go of these inconsistencies and move forward with more balanced thinking. If you find yourself having these automatic negative thoughts more often than not, it might be worth exploring therapy to begin making changes that will give your emotional experiences more balance, which can alleviate quite a bit of intrinsic stress.