Children’s emotions typically follow a curve. They are calm, until something triggers them and their emotions intensify. If the child is unable to cope with their feelings, they reach a peak emotion, which is typically when we would see them hit, yell, kick, or cry. Sometimes, it feels like you are looking at a child you do not recognize during these peak emotions. During each stage of this curve, parents can react differently in order to minimize the size of the child’s reaction and alleviate emotional stress. In order to find what triggers big reactions in a child, parents need to be detectives.

Positive parenting programs have a large and meaningful evidence-base for helping parents manage problem behaviors. However, positive parenting is not widely understood by parents. Many parents assume that positive parenting means kids can do no wrong and that we reward them anyway. In fact, positive parenting is quite different. Positive parenting actually involves relationship building, using parental attention effectively, giving kids independence, using discipline appropriately, and providing a safe, secure, and consistent environment. Once parents understand what positive parenting really is, skepticism tends to dissipate.

There are many moments throughout the day that require giving directions to kids. Parents need to make sure kids are safe, help them transition between activities, and ensure daily tasks are completed. The way we say directions or instructions matters and we want to make sure we are setting both ourselves and our kids up for success.

When we are faced with behavioral challenges, it is easy to see the problem, but it is much harder to see the solution. Because we see a glaring problem, we might yell “stop!” or “don’t!” to get our child to change their behavior. The truth is: we want them to stop, but we really want our kids to show a more positive behavior.

Resilience is the ability to recover or bounce back from challenges, disappointment, or failures. Inevitably, all kids will experience adversity in their lives. Now imagine how difficult it would be to face your fears and vulnerabilities when you need to, if you’ve never been given the chance to try.